Saturday, April 7, 2007

Camping out on too many other people's blogs...

Blogging is one of my favorite past times. I started in the Nichiren Buddhism realm 14 years ago. Then I branched out to political blogs and pediatric related blogs. My latest passion has been fiber/yarn/knitting/crocheting related blogs.

I've spent so much time on other peoples sites that I have forgotten my own. A dear friend who I call my "menopause coach" sat me down a couple of weeks ago. We had gotten to know each other in a local "jump start" writing workshop that we participated in for several months in 2007. She knew I had gotten all wound up in office politics at one of my contract positions. She admonished me that much of my frustration stemmed from my not writing. She reminded me of my determination to seriously write in 2007.

Yup, I have a habit of getting distracted. My rescue fairy occasionally pops out and I find myself trying to "solve other people's problems." I left that contract position three weeks ago, when I realized that contrary to what it seemed, I was working with adults. Adults who had the capacity to make choices albeit from my perspective some really bad ones:). I had spent so much time being a compassionate listener that I was taking on their stuff. Having learned to not cosign other peoples' Bullshit has been a part of my spiritual journey. I reassessed my situation, determined that I had done my work to the best of my ability, provided consultation (I work as a consultant). The powers that be had no investment in following those suggestions or making changes. So I realized that it was time to go and grow.

Within 24 hours, the stress melted off my body. The wheezing stopped temporarily. Even my 10 year old short human seemed easier to live with. I finally found the breathing space to be me.

So the last two weeks have been a time of healing, catching a really bad cold and finding more work. As I edge towards 50, I have noticed that the work world has changed dramatically. Employers favoring independent contractors and consultants, not so thrilled about hiring ahem older workers with benefits. So I am creating my own benefit package. I had my own private solo pediatric practice in Modesto for 6 years before I moved to Petaluma a year ago. I had the luxury of flexible time as a single mom, but the nightmare of not enough money coming in to pay for my staff, supplies or myself. So now I seek out work that lets me focus on my strengths (clinical work, public health consulting) and lets others deal with the yucky details.

Once my wonderteen Au Pair returns from his Spring Break, I plan to add more links and pictures. Amazing how 19 year olds (even my 10 year old) can traverse the Internet and do all sorts of cool stuff.

Just remembering that if I don't know how to do something, just ask:)


Dr. Mimi the Snap Diva
also a yayayarndiva


Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

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And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! :)

Anonymous said...

amazing stuff thanx :)

Anonymous said...

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don't give up and also keep creating because it just truly worth to follow it,
looking forward to browse through a whole lot more of your own posts, good bye :)