Friday, March 2, 2012

10 Things Every Black Woman Should Have- My List

This article came across my timeline today via @urbancusp, "10 Things Every Black Woman Should Have"- I tweeted my list earlier today. Here is my list: 10 Things Every Black Woman Should Have 1. A sense of self- self love is an important part of self worth 2. A sense of history- know your ancestors, your community and those not like you 3. A sense of time- stay in the present- learn from the past, don't give up on your future 4. A sense of laughter- find the joy and gratitude in each day 5. A sense of family- Be it family of origin or family of choice- get past the anger, the control and make peace 6. A sense of sistahhood, find commonality and spend less time pulling each other down 7. A sense of brothas- yup they are part of the sky; yes they are human and needed too:) 8. A sense of youth and children- as they are more than our future, they are also our present 9. A sense of value-it is not about the hair, the clothes you wear or the bling you sling- you are a pearl of immeasurable wealth 10.A sense of community and politics; vote, participate, demonstrate, be an agent of change, not just an agent of critique What is on your list? Triple snaps, front and center!

When things fall apart, my life comes together

Warning: If you see a lot of cliches, get over yourself- this is a stream of consciousness post:) A lot has happened since November 2011. I was in a world of hope and return to some paid medical writing work. Da boi had his juvenile court proceedings dismissed. I had plans to stay in Sonoma County to celebrate my first holiday season in 2 yrs with da boi- minus el jibaro. He went alone pouting to Puerto Rico for his annual one month Christmas/New Year's/business trip. Cracks were starting at Thanksgiving. Da boi insisted that el jibaro not spend Thanksgiving with us. I joyfully complied. Da boi and I spent three wonderful holiday weekends together. He showed me his pancake making prowess. I also remembered how much he talked, and talked and talked:) Great mama son time. My last day of paid writing work was December 22, 2012 Then January happened. Da boi had enough of his residential program- he had already been pulled out of therapeutic groups for "derailing the groups" and "negative participation." "Time to come home mom" he said, and started his own 5 weeks of civil disobedience (as he called it). 5 days of school suspension, 3 weeks of school refusal, three major AWOL episodes later, it was time to find a new program. I went into Amazon Advocate mode, spending hours on the phone daily with innumberable service agencies involved in my son's care. Lots of false starts, side stepping and plenty of opportunities to practice my spiritual program. At the same time El jibaro launched into heavier drinking complete with blackouts, verbal outbursts and more false promises. Last week, it all came to a head. Found out my 86 yo father had been in the hospital for 4 days due to dizzy spell and Alzheimer's disease. Thankfully car keys were confiscated by my brother. School district, county mental health, da boi's old school program and new school program spending a lot of back and forth time trying to decide "how to pay for da boi's program." El jibaro still cutting the fool so much that wonderpoodle was hiding from him. And then it hit me...time to blow dodge out of the Whack Shack.. Sunday, da boi did his last "acting out episode" at the old program resulting in his being taken to Juvenile Hall...again... I knew it was time for me to put on my big girl panties and move out. Tuesday, I moved to a hotel. Wednesday, I went to court with da boi- It wasn't pretty but he was released to my custody. We spent most of the day in the car going to agencies, signing off paperwork for his new school program Thursday, drove da boi up to his new program in Stockton Today, I am finally coming up for air. The nest egg is dwindling. My writing ideas are flowing. The wonderpoodle has stopped biting the fur on his legs. Enjoying the 195lb weight loss Triple snaps to all four corners!