"Those who believe in the Lotus Sutra are as if in winter, but winter always turns to spring. Never, from ancient times on, has anyone heard or seen of winter turning back to autumn. Nor have we ever heard of a believer in the Lotus Sutra who turned into an ordinary person. The sutra reads, 'If there are those who hear the Law, then not a one will fail to attain Buddhahood'"
Nichiren Daishonin, Winter Always turns to Spring- Writings of Nichiren Daishonin volume I page 536
I have heard this Gosho passage repeated to me over in over in times of trial and trouble throughout my 21+ years as a Nichiren practitioner. My initial response was an uh, huh, sure. The last 13 years when especially stressed, I would share with friends and seniors in faith that I was definitely experiencing a "nuclear winter" in my life. At times I felt my life stalling, moving sidewards and backwards...I didn't give up.
Well, spring has FINALLY come! Things started to gel in late January. I was able to find a wonderful residential school for my son to attend. He was able to leave juvenile hall after a 10 weeks stay (extended due to county employee furlough, district school vacation break and the usual many meetings that had to happen for placement to be approved). He is in an enriching learning and therapeutic environment not far from where I live. I can visit him and call him frequently.
He is testing limits- much like any other 13 yo but now having the support of many professionals 24/7.
The 19 month child support challenge by my son's father ended in February. I made the determination that I must see his dad as having a Buddha nature, to continually chant for his happiness and well-being. He agreed to pay for all back child support and reimbursed me for medical experiences. The best part is that he is back in our son's life. Yesterday he had his first visit with his son in over 7 years. Our son has only seen his dad twice before when he was 5 1/2. I was able to set up and support this visit with the help of my son's school clinician and house supervisor. It was a wonderful afternoon of basketball, video games and soccer for these two guys. My son's father also thanked me profusely. He plans to visit monthly.
So the my focus returns to my well-being and re-invention. I am finally insured via medi-cal so I am getting asthma care after 2 1/2 yrs of not having insurance. I was able to replace the glasses my son broke over a year ago. Sweet honey man and I are glowing and growing together.
With 6 weeks left of unemployment on my 1st extension, no child support coming in while my son is in residential school I know it is time to return to work. I have 1 month to go on the Simple Steps Business Course via the Women's Initiative (http://www.womensinitiative.org). I had to drop the course last fall due to my son's deterioration. I am now working on a 30 page business plan for an Integrative Health Navigator/Advocacy program for families with children/teens with mental health care and behavioral needs. A part of me also wants to return to clinical pediatrics- part time. My writing muse has returned. My creativity is flowing.
Amazing what can happen with building faith and confidence. My life today is truly Myo-Renge-Kyo.
